A Christmas Mutiny
Twas the day after Christmas and all round the house,
Mrs. Clause was parading minus her blouse.
They jerked off like crazy, and in no time at all,
Tiny ol’ Jesus was glued to the wall.
 
From this winter forward, no one shall bring
Gifts for the children, or any such thing.
St. Nick grabbed his shotgun and headed to find
That reindeer who fucked St. Nick’s womankind.
 
Here are events, which that night took place
And deleted the season from history’s face.
At this point, the ruckus had roused Mrs. Clause
Who was pissed off enough for she straddled the gauze.
The elves were all working far past their shifts,
Packing up toys to deliver as gifts.
She ran after Santa with her mams at her knees,
Swinging like acrobats on a trapeze.
 
No one took notice of Rudolph the Red
Who seduced Mrs. Clause into coming to bed.
She found him sitting on his fat, antlered seat,
Aiming for Rudolph who ran for the street.
 
He’d show the old bat what he uses to fly;
At first pen-test, she yelped out a cry.
Not wanting to lose her best lay all year,
Mrs. Clause chose to save the horny reindeer.
 
In the heat of his action, Rudolph the Deer
Never heard Santa who was still creeping near.
She took off her drawers and sat on his face,
Teaching old Santa what is his place.
 
Then moving so swiftly like the Reaper called Grimm
Santa grabbed Rudolph and put his pen-tester in him.
Unable to fight the bleeding old bat,
Santa shot himself where he sat.
 
Alarmed and confused by the 12-incher shaft,
Rudolph saw Santa who was moving abaft.
Peeling off pieces of St. Nicholas brain,
Mrs. Clause thought she was going insane.
 
The deer leapt for the doorway and made it outside,
He ran to the highway for some place to hide.
She saw on the highway her favorite f u q,
In a heap from hitting an oncoming truck.
 
Santa grabbed his wife; he’d show the old hag!
He pulled off her wig; it was Jesus in drag!
Mrs. Clause walked, tired after the bout,
Up to the door – she had locked herself out!
 
God’s rotten kid Jesus and all of his craft
Were no match for Santa and his 12-incher shaft.
So ended the night before Christmas at last,
With mutiny, horror and all that went past.
 
  © 1997

Mealschpeal; http://www.mealschpeal.com

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