Equinox Century City Complaint

Dear Equinox GM,


I continue to get invitations via email to re-join your facility with carrots covering the spectrum of reinstatement discounts. However, at no point do your seemingly personal chain-mails address or even seem aware of the complaint I wrote at my departure. For your records, it is below.



Dear Equinox,


As a charter member of the Century City facility, I would like to compliment you on a successful opening. And, given my horrific experiences with a club we won’t mention, would like to suggest some improvements before it’s too late.


As the first order of business, I cannot complain before I compliment you on the quality and quantity of equipment. Although the workout room is small, nothing seems cramped and there is more than enough space to engage in full range-of motion exercising without hitting your closest neighbor. The weights are top-notch and rubber coated so that little flakes of metal will never fly into the eyes of the unsuspecting bench presser. The towels are second to none in both size and quality and if they’re replaced by number of washes and not number of years, will be more reminiscent of a spa than a gym.


However, there are a few little, nit-picky things that could improve and must improve if you are to retain members who actually lift.


1.   The leg-sled needs a much more abrasive surface at the foot contact point. The entire purpose of this machine is to enable the application of a directional force which currently causes an unacceptable amount of slippage during heavy load. Some low-gauge sand paper will correct this dangerous condition.


2.   The calf-raise machine similarly requires a rough contact surface to wrap around the entire foot rest instead of just a small patch on top. As it is now, the foot can easily slide off of the rest in the middle of a heavy set.


3.   The heavy dumbbells should be elevated to a position slightly below the hanging grip of the average person. Currently, they are far too low increasing the chances that a patron will injure herself while removing or replacing the weights.


4.   Describing the valet parking, the best term starts with "cluster" and ends with an obscenity. Why is the parking structure located BEHIND the valet stand? The valets try to reverse into the structure hoping that they can beat the next car pulling in. They seldom do. We can’t relocate the structure, so let’s at least reverse the flow of traffic so that the valets can continue forward to their destination without playing chicken with the next driver. And let’s hire 4 more of them so we can go home and carb-load faster.


5.   The unguided Smith Rack rocks so much in either direction that it seems like it’s a few hundred screw-turns short of snug. Not very reassuring while doing squats.


6.   The Incline Bench press seat should be supported by a spring-loaded bolt and not static friction whereby the slightest shift can send the entire structure, and occupant plummeting to their paralysis. I have seen such machines all over the place. Whoever designs them (and buys them) has never done a set of bench in their lives.


7.   Where is the decline bench?


8.   Where is the preacher curl? It used to be there but disappeared after the second week. Since such equipment is seldom stolen, I can only assume that someone cares more about the floor plan.


Equinox Century City is far too expensive a place to have so many strikes against it. These issues must be addressed or 1 month from today, you will be 1 monthly member poorer.


I am happy to chat any time that is convenient.